Wedding Etiquette: What To Expect When You’re the Plus One for a Bridesmaid or Groomsman

Coffee With Calluna

Wednesday, May 15

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It’s another week of #CoffeeWithCalluna and we’re so excited to share a few more tips and tricks of the industry. Each week we’ll answer questions from YOU! Send us your questions to or send us a message on instagram at @callunaevents!

Xo, Calluna

Getting invited to a wedding is fun and exciting! It’s a chance to dress up and socialize while enjoying the evening’s festivities. But what happens if your date is in the wedding party? Now, being invited as a plus one can be a little intimidating, especially if you have never met, or barely know the couple. What do you do if you don’t know anyone else at the wedding? How do you spend your time while your date is busy with wedding party duties?

Here are some tips on how to have fun while also being a gracious guest!

Information Is Key

The more information you have, the better chance you have to set yourself up for success. Stick to the dress code! I think it goes without saying, avoid white, and don’t show up in a ballgown if the event is more of a spring garden wedding. Ask your date about the couple and what they’re like. Even better, if you can get your hands on the invitation or wedding website, you can get a definite dress code.  If you can’t get a clear dress code, play it safe and aim for classic dresses that you know you look great in! If you’re unsure of what a dress code means, you can read more about it here!

Manners, Manners, Manners

This one seems obvious, but if you’ve already RSVP’d yes, don’t back out at the last minute. If your date is part of the wedding party, know that you’ll have a lot of down time for yourself. Take some time to enjoy your morning on the day of the wedding, but make sure to be on time for the ceremony!

If the couple has a receiving line at the end of the ceremony, congratulate the newlyweds and thank them for having you at their wedding. If they don’t have a receiving line, find some time to meet them during the reception and offer your congratulations then.

Pitch in for the gift with your date! This is great especially if you don’t know the couple very well. Talk to your date about what they’re planning on giving, and if all else fails, you can always gift something small off of their registry, or give a reasonable amount of cash along with a nicely written card wishing the couple well.


I know we like to use our phones as scapegoats in uncomfortable situations, but try to unplug and enjoy the moment to connect with other guests. Follow your date’s lead and let them set the tone, but don’t be afraid to get out there and mingle. Make your date feel like they don’t have to worry about you! They are there to support the couple, and you’re there as a supporting role for your date.

That being said, being a plus one doesn’t mean you have to be the most poised person in the room. Partaking in the festivities is one of the best ways to be a good guest. Grab a drink and hit the dance floor, just don’t get too sloppy and make a scene!

Overwhelmed? Take a little break!

Meeting new people can take a toll, and can be intimidating to some people. If you feel like you’re getting overwhelmed, find somewhere quiet and take some time for yourself to regroup. You can also find a smaller group to hunker down and chat with so you don’t feel like you’re getting dragged from group to group. 

At the end of it all, weddings are a time to celebrate the new couple and to have fun! We hope these tips help you as we approach the upcoming wedding season!


Featured Photo | Laura Murray Photography

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