You said yes!– and after the excitement of your engagement begins to settle in, one of the most special next steps is choosing the people who will stand beside you on your wedding day, in whatever way that looks like for you as a couple!
Your wedding party is made up of the people who have supported you through so many seasons of life already. Asking them to be part of your wedding is a moment worth celebrating, and many brides today are turning the “bridal party ask” into an experience of its own, beyond just asking the question. Whether your approach is sweet and simple or a little more planned out, it’s a beautiful way to begin this next chapter of wedding planning (and adds to everyone’s excitement!)
Choosing Your Wedding Party
When deciding who to include in your wedding party, it can be helpful to pause and think about the people who have been constant sources of love and support in your life. These are the friends and family members who will be there for the happy tears, the dress fittings, and of course the wedding day itself.
Wedding parties ultimately look different for every couple, which is one of our favorite parts of modern weddings. Today, more than ever, couples are moving away from tradition and creating wedding parties that truly reflect their relationships, whether that’s a mixed-gender group, shared sides, or something entirely unique. For example, we’ve seen brides choose a Maid of Honor and several bridesmaids or bridesmen, while others opt for a smaller and more intimate group. There really are no rules, at the end of the day what matters most is choosing the people who make you feel the most like yourself.
Calluna Event’s Real Wedding | Emily + Michael | Photo by Ian Santiago Photography
When to Ask
Many couples often ask their wedding party within the first few months after getting engaged. Once you’ve had a chance to celebrate the news and start thinking about your wedding timeline, inviting your closest friends and family to be part of the journey only feels like the natural next step.
Many of our brides who have already been through the process say that asking earlier in the engagement helps your wedding party feel included from the very beginning, especially as plans start to unfold for events like showers, bachelorette parties, and all the little moments that come with wedding planning.
Calluna Event’s Real Wedding | Ansley + Caleb | Photo by Bree Woolliscroft Photography
The “Wedding Party Proposal”
In recent years, many couples have embraced what’s now lovingly called a ‘wedding party proposal.’ It’s exactly what it sounds like- popping the question to your closest friends with a small surprise or thoughtful gift to mark the moment. While it’s definitely not required, it’s become a fun way to celebrate such a huge milestone!
One of the most popular ideas we’ve noticed brides doing is creating proposal boxes, filled with a few personalized items. These might include mini champagne bottles, self care items, jewelry they can wear on the big day, or a handwritten note asking the question. Many brides swear by sites like Etsy for quality customized gifts, from engraved keepsakes to embroidered pouches and other handmade items. Inspiration boards on Pinterest are also a huge hit when planning, especially when it comes to narrowing down ideas and pinning the color, packaging, and creative design inspo.
That said, proposal boxes or material gifts aren’t the only way to make the moment special. One trend we’ve been loving lately is brides opting for more intimate and experience-based ‘asks’. A brunch date with your closest friends, or a small girls’ trip can be the perfect setting for a heartfelt conversation. Even for long-distance family or friends, a sweet card or phone call can be so special. Sometimes these small moments can make for the most meaningful memories!
Calluna Event’s Real Wedding | Mariana + Jose | Photo by John Moler Photography
A Modern and Meaningful Take on Wedding Parties
One of the most beautiful shifts we’ve seen in recent years is the way wedding parties have become more reflective of each couple’s real relationships. Gone are the days of strictly defined roles or perfectly matched sides. Instead, couples are creating wedding parties that feel authentic, inclusive of all of their loved ones, and entirely their own.
For some, that means having a mix of men and women on both sides of the wedding party! You might have a Man of Honor, a Best Woman, bridesmen, groomswomen, or simply skip the traditional titles altogether. What truly matters most is having your people by your side.
For couples celebrating same-sex marriages, there’s even more flexibility in how you choose to structure your wedding party (which we’ve seen be SO much fun for everyone involved). Some couples each have their own group, while others blend into one shared wedding party, or even choose to forgo the idea of having a wedding party altogether. There’s no right or wrong approach, only what feels most natural to you.
We always encourage our couples to think beyond tradition and focus on the connection of it all. Whether it’s a longtime best friend, siblings, or someone who has supported you through seasons of your life, your wedding party should feel like a natural extension of your life and community.
Calluna Event’s Real Wedding | Katie + James | Photo by Sarah Nann Photography
Setting Expectations
Being part of a wedding party is such an exciting role, but it’s also helpful to communicate expectations early on. Wedding party members, and especially those in honor roles (like a Maid of Honor, Best Man, or equivalent), often participate in a handful of celebrations leading up to the wedding, from fittings to venue tours and any bachelorette gatherings you’ll be having.
Your Maid of Honor, for example, may take on a slightly larger role of course, often helping organize these pre-wedding events and serving as your go-to person, alongside your soon to be spouse, throughout the planning process. Keeping communication open helps everyone enjoy the experience (as you should!) without feeling overwhelmed by all the details.
Calluna Event’s Real Wedding | Emily + Michael | Photo by Ian Santiago Photography
Here’s to What’s Next!
At the end of the day, asking your wedding party doesn’t need to be elaborate to be deeply meaningful. Remember, there’s no single “right” way to do it, which is the exciting part- it means there are no limits on how much or little you spend, how personal you make it, or exactly how the moment should unfold.
These are the people who will be there through one of the most exciting times of your life, leading up to your wedding and supporting you on the day itself. Inviting them to stand beside you is a small moment that sets the tone for all the bigger ones to come!
